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Choose Me


I’ve always run away from labels. 

Now there’s one I cannot run away from.

Father.


Choose Me

The Ballerina Series Book 4

by Ursula Sinclair

Genre: Contemporary New Adult Romantic Suspense



I refused to be placed in anyone’s box.

Vin
I’ve always been the best friend, the one nightstand, the groomsmen never the groom. Then I go and become that ‘F’ word. Yeah, I become a Father before I am even part of a couple. I’ve never been one to live a normal life. Whatever that is. It’s never been for me. But then a woman and my child change everything. They become everything. I will become whatever they need. Because that will be who I am.

Samantha
My husband and I always wanted a child, but it was not meant to be. Until one day, one came into our lives, and she became my everything. But the man that should have protected us didn’t, he betrayed us. Exposed us to men who threatened the safety of my child and me. Then someone came into our lives amidst the chaos, but who was he there to save, me or his child?

 

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Future

Vin

 

“Vin!”

“What!” Something about the way she said my name had me blinking and trying to focus my sleep fogged mind. A shudder traveled through my body. What the hell time is it? The connections in my brain were still a bit fuzzy, but I recognized the pitch of that voice. I’d heard it enough times. Something was wrong.

“Christie?” I spoke into my phone.

“I’m at the hospital, Vin. The baby…” Terror laced her tone.

“What? Isn’t it too early?” I questioned. Christie wasn’t quite eight months pregnant, since that was the last time we’d hooked up. “Is something wrong?”

“You’ve got to come now!”  Fear rippled in her voice.

I’d never heard her sound like this before. My heart pressed against my chest. “Okay, okay on my way.”

I glanced at the time on my phone. Since my head hit the pillow, I’d gotten less than three hours of sleep. Rolling out of bed, I downed some aspirin I kept on the nightstand. Staggering to the bathroom, I washed my face with cold water. It helped a little. My eyesight was no longer quite so blurry. When I glanced at the mirror, I could at least make out my blood shot eyes from too little sleep. But my mind was clear.

Quickly, I tossed on some clean clothes then caught a taxi to the hospital, Christie had scheduled her delivery in. I hoped like hell she would be there. This woman prepared for everything.

Except for an unplanned pregnancy.

I pulled out my phone to shoot a group text to my best friends, Maze and Dante. To let them know Christie was in the hospital and to meet me there but stopped myself before pressing send. First, it was three fucking o’clock in the morning and secondly, I had no idea what the hell was going on, other than I could hear the panic in Christie’s voice. I’d wait until I knew more.

At this hour, it only took about fifteen minutes for me to get to the hospital in midtown. Still, by the time I got there—it was the right hospital—they’d already taken Christie into surgery. I wasn’t family, just the father of the child we’d both agreed to put up for a private adoption. Which meant no one would tell me anything, other than to have a seat and wait for the doctor. Or the lawyer, for the couple adopting the baby. But I wasn’t sure if the hospital or Christie had notified the lawyer, or the couple, and I wasn’t going to remind anyone. At this point, I also didn’t give a rat’s ass. Christie might have been a one or two night hook up, but I still cared about her and the baby we created.

“Mr. Tinsdale?” A pretty young woman in plain purple colored scrubs stood in front of me.

I stood up. “Yes, that’s me. How’s Christie and the baby?”

“Christie signed a form before they took her in, allowing us to talk to you as the biological father of the baby. The baby is in distress, the doctor is performing an emergency C-section, as soon as he knows more, he’ll come out to speak to you.”

“Thank you.” Even if her words did little to relieve my anxiety. I plopped my ass back down onto the seat. It wasn’t until the nurse disappeared through the double doors, I questioned what she’d said. Or rather the way she said it, know more about what? Shouldn’t it only be to tell me if it was a boy or a girl? Oh, God! Did distress mean the baby might die? Was Christie going to be, okay?

I ran my fingers through my shorthair as these thoughts played table tennis in my mind. I’d made a bit of an ass of myself earlier at the nurses’ station, demanding someone come out to tell me something. All I could do now was sit and wait for the doctor.

I sat there alone, my hands rested on my knees, head down, eyes staring at the floor, seeing nothing but my f’ing life rolling away from me. Tied to someone I didn’t even like—for life. One who would be the mother of my child. All because some shitty piece of latex malfunctioned. Fuck of a malfunction. Still, I prayed to a supreme being or beings somewhere out there that Christie and the baby would be okay. Even if I’d agreed to the adoption, the thought of my child dying sent fear zinging through me.

I took a deep breath. Single mother, single father, nothing single about it. Not when an innocent life was involved. A life who apparently wanted to make an early appearance. Way early. A preemie. My child would be a preemie. Labels—fucking labels. All my life I’d dealt with them. But I refused to be placed in anyone’s box.




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Ursula Sinclair is a USA Today Bestselling Author and the alter ego for LaVerne Thompson, a USA Today Bestselling, award winning, multi-published author. An avid reader and a writer of fantasy, paranormal, contemporary, and sci/fi sensual romances. She loves creating worlds within and without our world. She enjoys good action scenes. Most of her books under either name, also have a touch of violence and a few more than that. She writes romantic suspense and new adult romance under her alter ego.

She is a certified chocoholic and is currently working on several projects. Some might even involve chocolate. But writing helps maintain her sanity.

 

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I’m a Mom, a Grandmom, and a Veteran. Nothing scares me! That’s the saying on my favorite T Shirt. I’m enjoying life too much to let the little things slow me down. If you can’t tell from my Avatar, I live in Florida where I enjoy the sunshine and endure the hurricanes with good grace. Sometimes you have to take the bad with the good!

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Battle Beyond the Veil


Two worlds.

One forbidden relic.

A battle for survival or ruin.


Battle Beyond the Veil

by Cassie Sanchez

Genre: Urban Fantasy


The Celestial War shattered the Heavens; after millennia, the battle still rages.

On the most important day of Zahra’s career at the Gallery of Time Museum, everything unravels. A mysterious package arrives from her estranged father, and the Atar’zul, a relic that could secure her promotion goes missing. While betrayal festers within the museum, a long lost love returns, throwing Zahra’s world into chaos.

Kyden, a warrior angel and demon slayer, has guarded the spiritual realm for centuries. When a famous archaeologist and forbidden artifact vanish, Kyden is forced to protect a human, a job he vowed long ago to never do again.

Together, Zahra and Kyden must face rising demon threats and the cursed magic of the Atar’zul. As darkness closes in, they join forces to defend both realms and find that ending the battle beans trusting each other. Sacrifices must be made—the cost of which might be their very souls.

Welcome to the battle for humanity’s future—a story of loyalty, temptation, and the fragile line between light and shadow.

 

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Cassie Sanchez is the award-winning author behind the Darkness trilogy—a whirlwind of fast-paced fantasy romance where danger dances with desire and magic always has a price. Based in the enchanting Southwest, she lives with her husband and two crazy labs named Bullet and Scout. When she’s not writing happily-ever-afters, she can be found wielding a Pickleball paddle or cuddling with her nogs for an afternoon nap.

 At the heart of Cassie’s stories are characters who stumble, fall, and rise again—wrestling with forgiveness and searching for redemption. Step into her world, where every story casts a spell and love conquers all, even the shadows.

 

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I’m a Mom, a Grandmom, and a Veteran. Nothing scares me! That’s the saying on my favorite T Shirt. I’m enjoying life too much to let the little things slow me down. If you can’t tell from my Avatar, I live in Florida where I enjoy the sunshine and endure the hurricanes with good grace. Sometimes you have to take the bad with the good!

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Adverse Reactions


When your mind makes you the enemy, either your mind must die, or you will. 

Unless yours is the mind they can’t break.


Adverse Reactions

by Deborah J. Lightfoot

Genre: Dystopian Paranormal Suspense



Purity demands a bullet. Devin brings a reckoning.

Since she was six years old, Devin Perridin has been locked behind the walls of the family home to keep her hidden from those who would kill her. But at sixteen, she is exposed as a “Syke,” one of an outlawed minority who possess extraordinary powers of mind over matter. Snatched from hiding, she escapes the firing squad, but only to be imprisoned in a house of horrors: the Peaceful Hills Sanatorium and Rehabilitation Center for the Treatment of Persistent Mental Disorders. After an unknown time of torture and “behavior modification,” brutally designed to destroy her psychokinetic reflexes, she emerges from the asylum severely damaged in mind and spirit. Her salvation may lie in the series of crimes triggered by her release: first kidnapping, then attempted murder, and then a mustering of forbidden forces to assault the remote pseudo-psychiatric facility where she had been tortured into near-mindlessness.

Drawing upon a strength she had always known was hers but had never before been able to consciously control, Devin defies the authoritarian society with its unjust laws that demand her death. She pushes through pain, isolation, and moral quandaries to seek justice for not only herself, but all members of a maligned and cruelly persecuted minority. A post-apocalyptic, paranormal allegory for the times in which we live.

When your mind makes you the enemy, either your mind must die, or you will. Unless yours is the mind they can’t break.

 

“This novel is immediately immersive, with an opening scene that sucks readers in with vivid sensory detail and a great sense of suspense.” —The Black List

“What a story! I was picked up from the first page and you never let me go thereafter. The premise is original … compelling … convincing.” —ARC Reader

“A very enjoyable read. Excellent pacing. Immersive language. Polished, effortless writing. I’d love to see a prequel (or three)!” —ARC Reader

“Relevant to the current situation in the world. Ostracizing others who are different out of fear and ignorance. Cruelty and inhumanity.” —ARC Reader

“Believable and relatable.” —The Black List

“Thematically rich, as Devin faces constant self-doubt but eventually comes to find empowerment in the unique abilities that have made her an outcast.” —The Black List

 

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Chapter 1

 

VAPORS BILLOWED INTO the chamber in thick masses of orange. Devin choked on the sickly sweet odor.

“Don’t fight it, child,” came the voice—equally cloying—from the darkness beyond the floodlit, glass-walled chamber. “Give yourself up to it.”

The gas surged into Devin’s face, blinding, gagging her. She made it go away. By force of will, a moment’s mental reflex, she flung it back.

Fresh air flooded her nostrils and drove out the syrupy stink. She sucked in a cool, clean breath.

“No!” snapped the voice, crackling with amplified static. “You must not.”

The therapist dropped her with two thousand volts. Devin collapsed to the chamber’s floor, her body jerking, her nerves on fire. The pain was beyond enduring. A pain this intense must be lethal. But she did not die. As she convulsed, her muscles knotted in spasms, she could not scream. No part of her, not even her voice, was under her voluntary control.

“Try it again, child.” Smooth and saccharine once more, her unseen therapist spoke from the concealing shadows as the shock ended and Devin’s pain faded. “Stand up,” the torturer ordered. “And this time, do not fight it. Or your punishment will be the same: swift, sure, and severe.”

Devin struggled upright. She had to brace against the curved glass wall of the gas chamber to keep on her feet. Her muscles had melted from knots into jelly.

An orange cloud flooded the chamber and filled her nose with the stink of rotting fruit.

“Breathe it,” her therapist instructed. “You must.”

But again, Devin reacted by instinct alone. No conscious thought interposed between stimulus and response. The cloud approached; she pushed it away. Pure reflex, action of mind: act of self-preservation. The gas held back, suspended in midair, blocked by the power of her impulse.

On the instant, thousands of volts knocked her to the floor. Pain engulfed Devin, such a pain as must be lethal but wouldn’t do her the service of killing her. She writhed, silent and barely conscious.

Her therapist withdrew the punishment. Devin remained on the floor of the isolation chamber, curled in the fetal position, her long brown hair covering her face. Her body was hers to command once more, but her muscles had no strength to obey.

“You give new meaning to the word persistent, don’t you, girl?” muttered the disembodied voice. Then, more forcefully: “The first step toward healing is to admit you are diseased, Miss Perridin. You have an illness. A mental disorder. I am offering you the cure—in a pleasant aerosol spray that you need only breathe. Once inhaled, the drug acts quickly, and its effects are lasting. But you must take the first step and acknowledge that you want to be cured.”

The voice grew soft, sugary. “Child, for as long as you hold to the notion—the mistaken notion—that your disorder is in some way a strength or a benefit to you, you will continue to fail. And you will suffer the consequences of that failure. We can’t have that, can we?”

Devin gathered the remnants of her strength and rolled onto her back. To stand was impossible; she could barely shape a word.

“No,” she whispered.

She wasn’t speaking to her tormentor.

But: “That’s the spirit!” the therapist responded, sounding genuinely enthused. “Now we try again. Take your medicine like a good girl.”

The orange stink flowed in at the top of the chamber. Devin, lying face up, watched through the curtain of her hair as the cloud descended. She had time to ward it off, to make it go away. But in the soul of her being, nothing sparked. Her reflexes, her instincts, failed to respond. What had been a spontaneous force of mind over matter could offer no resistance.

Devin’s mouth filled with the sickening taste of defeat. The orange cloud enveloped her, a sticky weight, and she choked down lungfuls.

“Wonderful!” her therapist exclaimed. “My dear, I couldn’t be more pleased. This is the tipping point. Your recovery will be much easier from now on, I promise.”

Devin breathed the sickly sweet drug and felt the core of her mind go dead.

Then came the retching. Her body contorted in gut-shredding paroxysms as the drug made her vomit—or attempt to vomit. Her keepers had starved her for so long, her stomach had nothing to bring up. The dry heaves racked her with such violence that she could not breathe. After long moments, unconsciousness brought relief.





Castles in the cornfield provided the setting for Deborah J. Lightfoot’s earliest flights of fancy. On her father’s farm in Texas, she grew up reading tales of adventure and reenacting them behind ramparts of sun-drenched grain. She left the farm to earn a degree in journalism and write award-winning books of history and biography. High on her bucket list was the desire to try her hand at the genre she most admired. The result is Waterspell, a multi-layered fantasy series about a girl and the wizard who suspects her of being so dangerous to his world, he believes he’ll have to kill her … which troubles him, since he’s fallen in love with her.

 

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I’m a Mom, a Grandmom, and a Veteran. Nothing scares me! That’s the saying on my favorite T Shirt. I’m enjoying life too much to let the little things slow me down. If you can’t tell from my Avatar, I live in Florida where I enjoy the sunshine and endure the hurricanes with good grace. Sometimes you have to take the bad with the good!

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The Protection Agreement


He was hired to be her shield, but he never expected she’d be the one to pierce his heart.


The Protection Agreement

The Agreement Series Book 4

by A Akinosho

Genre: Age Gap Billionaire Bodyguard Romance


Duty or desire—he’s sworn to keep her alive.
But staying close blurs the line.


When a threat puts her life in danger, there’s only one man capable of protecting her—a ruthless bodyguard with a fearsome reputation and loyalty carved into his bones. The problem? His family and hers are sworn enemies. And he learned to hate her last name long before he ever knew her.

This is duty.
A contract.
Nothing more.

Shared space. Constant protection.
No attachment. No temptation.

Forced proximity turns restraint into tension. Hatred softens. Awareness sharpens. Desire becomes impossible to ignore.
She’s a damsel in distress who refuses to be fragile. He’s a possessive protector bound by duty, fighting feelings he has no right to claim. Every glance is forbidden. Every moment together is a betrayal written in silence.

As enemies close in and pressure mounts, distance becomes impossible.

Because the longer he stands between her and danger, the harder it is to remember where duty ends—and desire begins.

He was sworn to keep her alive.
He just wasn’t prepared for what it would cost him.

Touch her… and die?

 

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Bruce

Lexi returns from her room and takes the seat next to me.  I’ve concluded that we are fighting a losing battle. It’s just a matter of time before the attraction between us takes over and its fiery flame burns through us. We are quiet, our eyes are trained on the movie even as I’m provocatively attune to her presence, her allure is seeping into every nook and cranny of my being.   It doesn’t take long before she leans into me. I don’t move out of her reach. She’s soft and warm in my arms and my whole being is responding to her closeness. I need to get her in bed.  I move her head from my shoulder.

“Hmm,” she groans. “Kiss me, Bruce,” she whispers. I pause for a moment, convinced I didn’t hear her. 

“What did you say?” I ask, betting she doesn’t realize what she asked of me. 

“Kiss me, Bruce,” she says, her voice barely audible. “I want you to kiss me. I took my meds.“  A chuckle escapes her “Be aware that I may not remember in the morning, so make it good so I can dream of you.” She grins, though a bit out of it. 

I want her to remember, and I shouldn’t grant her request, but I’ve been dying to kiss her, so who am I to deny her request especially when she wants to dream of me. I shift positions so she’s on her back and I kiss her lips gently and she opens her mouth to let me in. I kiss her with the fervor of a starved man that I am. Her tongue swirls sweetly with mine. She wraps her arms around my neck and pulls me closer and deeper to her. My tongue is seeking every inch of her mouth, my body is intensely aroused. A soft moan escapes her, it sends a charge through my body.

I can probably make love to her now and she wouldn’t stop me, but I also want her sober and consenting plus I want her to always remember us, every touch, every kiss and every thrust of me inside her. I slowly pull away. Breaking the sweet feel of our kiss.

 Fuck, I just kissed Jonah’s girl and I fucking like it.

She smiles. “Goodnight, Bruce.”

She turns to her side and sleeps like she didn’t just break through every resistance shield of mine. I sigh because looking at her, I want more. I feel it in the blood thumping in my veins. My ragged breath that I fucking need to control. My hands running through my hair in exasperation of what I’ve just done. I know there’s no going back now.

 Leaning down, I lift her in my arms. She giggles like a little girl. I should leave her in her room, but I’ve a need for her closeness, I can’t explain or control.  I move slowly with her asleep in my arms and place her gently in my bed. She curls to her side and sleeps off. I sit on the bed for a moment watching her, “she can’t leave” the voice that slams in my head. Just as Declan’s words a while ago “when you kiss the one, you never want another” I feel the weight of what I’ve done. Kissed the one but she belongs to another man and not just any man. A man that hates my guts, paid me to keep her safe and sternly warned me not to touch her. I now know why, he made that request because he knows once I did.

He and I would be at war. Yet I find myself willing to go to war for her. Damn it

I move closer and kiss her temple, my palm gently touching her face. A giggle escapes her and I wonder if she’s dreaming of me.  I cover her and get off the bed. I go into the bathroom to shower and relieve the monster awakening between my legs. I get temporary relief. Wrapping my towel around my waist. I peep to check on her. She’s knocked out. I put sleeping pants on and get in bed with her, pulling her into my arms and she doesn’t resist. 





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A. Akinosho lives in her own little nest in Illinois. An avid reader and enjoy reading thrillers, suspense and romance novels (partial to romance genre). When, She’s not reading or keeping up with life. She enjoys writing and creating twist to stories. She loves writing about diverse characters, friendship and overcoming challenges through, what is perceived as a weakness.
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I’m a Mom, a Grandmom, and a Veteran. Nothing scares me! That’s the saying on my favorite T Shirt. I’m enjoying life too much to let the little things slow me down. If you can’t tell from my Avatar, I live in Florida where I enjoy the sunshine and endure the hurricanes with good grace. Sometimes you have to take the bad with the good!

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Wind From the Abyss


Aristocrat. Outcast. Picara. Slave. Ruler ….

She is descended from the masters of the universe.

To hold her he challenges the gods themselves. 


Wind From the Abyss

The Silistra Quartet Book 3

by Janet Morris

Genre: Dystopian Epic SciFi Fantasy Romance



Dystopia. Fantasy. Science fiction. Allegory. Political.

 

Wind from the Abyss is the third volume in Janet Morris’ classic Silistra Quartet, continuing one woman’s quest for self-realization in a distant tomorrow.

Aristocrat. Outcast. Picara. Slave. Ruler …. She is descended from the masters of the universe. To hold her he challenges the gods themselves.

 

Praise for Janet Morris’ Silistra Quartet:

“The amazing and erotic adventures of the most beautiful courtesan in tomorrow’s universe.” — Fred Pohl

“Engrossing characters in a marvelous adventure.” — Charles N. Brown, Locus Magazine.

“The best single example of prostitution used in fantasy is Janet Morris’ Silistra series.” — Anne K. Kahler, The Picara: From Hera to Fantasy Heroine.

 

This Perseid Press Author’s Cut Edition is revised and expanded by the author and presented in a format designed to enhance your reading experience with larger, easy-to-read print, more generous margins, and covers designed for these premium editions.

 

Wind from the Abyss starts with this . . .

 

“Since, at the beginning of this tale, I did not recollect myself nor retain even the slightest glimmer of such understanding as would have led me to an awareness of the significance of the various occurrences that transpired at the Lake of Horns, I am adding this preface, though it was no part of my initial conception, that the meaningfulness of the events described by “Khys’ Estri” (as I have come to think of the shadow-self I was while the dharen held my skills and memory in abeyance) not be withheld from you as they were from me. I knew myself not: I was Estri because the girl Carth supposedly found wandering in the forest stripped of comprehension and identity chose that name. There, perhaps, lies the greatest irony of all, that I named myself anew after Estri Hadrath diet Estrazi, who in reality I had once been. And perhaps it is not irony at all, but an expression of Khys’ humor, an implicit dissertation by him who structured my experiences, my very thoughts, for nearly two years, until his audacity drove him to bring together once more Sereth crill Tyris, past-Slayer, then the outlawed Ebvrasea, then arrar to the dharen himself; Chayin rendi Inekte, cahndor of Nemar, co-cahndor of the Taken Lands, chosen son of Tar-Kesa, and at that time Khys’ puppet-vassal; and myself, former Well-Keepress, tiask of Nemar, and lastly becoming the chaldless outlaw who had come to judgment and endured ongoing retribution at the dharen’s hands. To test his hesting, his power over owkahen, the time-coming-to-be, did Khys put us together, all three, in his Day-Keeper’s city — and from that moment onward, the Weathers of Life became fixed: siphoned into a singular future; sealed tight as a dead god in his mausoleum, whose every move brought him closer to the sum total, obliteration. So did the dharen Khys bespeak it, himself. . .”

 

“Morris, so good at giving us characters we can identify with, characters we can love and hate, strikes at the very heart of the human condition and the duality of humanity — both good and evil. Her prose is lean and spot-on, every word carefully chosen to enhance the milieu of her imaginary world and advance the plot, giving us access to the thoughts, emotions and machinations of the people whose stories she is presenting to us. Once again, she gives us a “thinking man’s” science fiction/fantasy that explores the nature of power and sexuality, and how they can be used, misused and abused. This is a brilliant, mature and very adult novel that will not only leave you thinking about your own place in the universe, but questioning the very nature of existence.” – Goodreads reviewer

 

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I.In Mourning for the Unrecollected

 

The hulion hovered, wings aflap, at the win­dow, butting its black wedge of a head against the pane. Its yellow eyes glowed cruelly, slit-pupiled. Its white fangs, gleam­ing, were each as long as my forearm.
I screamed.
Its tufted ears, flat against its head, twitched. Again and again, toothed mouth open wide, it battered at the window, roaring.
Once more I screamed and ran stumbling to the far wall of my prison. I pounded upon the locked doors with my fists, pressing myself against the wood. Sobbing, I turned to face it.
The beast’s ears flickered at the sound. Those jaws, which could have snapped me in half, closed. It cocked its head.
I trembled, caught in its gaze. I could retreat no farther. I sank to my knees, moaning, against the door frame.
The beast gave one final snort. Those wings, with a spread thrice the length of a tall man, flapped decisively, and it was gone.
When the hulion was no more than a speck in the greening sky, I rose clumsily, shaking, to collect the papers I had strewn across the mat in my terror. They were the arrar Carth’s papers, those he had forgotten in his haste to answer his returning master’s summons.
I knelt upon my hands and knees on the silvery pile, that I might gather the pages and replace them in the tas-sueded folder before Carth returned.
Foolish, I thought to myself, that I had so feared the hulion. It could not have gotten in. I could not get out: It could not get in. Once I had thrown a chair at that impervious clarity. The chair had splintered. With one stout thala leg, as thick as my arm, had I battered upon that window. All I had accomplished was the transformation of chair into kindling. The hulion, I chided myself, could have fared no better.
Hulions, upon occasion, have been known to eat man-flesh. Hulions, furred and winged, fanged and clawed, are the servants of the dharen who rules Silistra. I had had no need to fear. Yet, I thought as I gathered the arrar Carth’s scattered papers, hulions are fearsome. Perhaps if I had been able, as others are, to hear its mind’s intent, I would have felt differently. My fingers, numb and trembling, fumbled for the delicate sheets.
One in particular caught my eye. It was in Carth’s precise hand and headed: “Preassessment Monitoring of the Arrar Sereth. Enar Fourth Second, 25,697.”
I had met, once, the arrar Sereth. Upon my birthday, Macara fourth seventh, in the year ’696 had I met him, that night my child had been conceived. I had read of his exploits. He frightened me, killer of killers, enforcer for the dharen, he who wore the arrar: chald of the messenger. Sereth, scarred and lean and taut like some carnivore, who had loved the Keepress Estri, my namesake, and with her brought great change to Silistra in the pass Amarsa, 25,695 — yes, I had met him.
I sat myself down cross-legged on the Galeshir carpet, papers still strewn about, forgotten, and began to read:
The time is approximately three enths after sun’s rising, the weather clouded and cool, our position just south of the juncture of the Karir and Thoss rivers. I highly recommend that you look in upon the moment.
The arrar Sereth, on the brindle hulion Leir, touched his gol-knife. It was the first unnecessary movement he had made in over an enth. My presence, alongside upon a black hulion, disquieted him. The brindle, gliding at the apex of its bound, snorted. He touched its shoulder, and the beast, obedient, angled its wings and began its descent.
When its feet touched the grass, he set it at a grounded lope. 1 followed suit, bringing my black up to pace him.
Sereth regarded me obliquely. I, as he, served the dharen, he thought, and touched his hulion to a stop.
We had been riding all the night, up from Galesh, where I had met him with the two beasts. He had served the dharen, most lately, in Dritira. And before that, in the hide diet, and before that upon the star world M’ksakka had he dealt death and retribution at Khys’ whim. And dealt them successfully, though those tasks had been fraught with deadlier risk than a man might be expected to survive. His thought was wry, recollecting.
“How did you find M’ksakka?” I asked, to key him, to bring something else above the impenetrable shield he has constructed. My hulion rumbled at the brindle he rode, and that one answered.
“I will make a full report to Khys,” he said, slipping off the hulion’s back. “Let us rest them.”
I joined him where he lay upon the grass, staring at the sky.
“I missed this land,” he said. “The sky there is dark and ominous, always cloudy. M’ksakkan air stings eyes and lungs. Everything is covered with a fine black dust. I would not go again off the planet.”
“Perhaps he will not send you,” I conjectured.
He saw M’ksakka, and that seeing was colored by his distaste, both for the world and the work he had done there. The methods he had employed displeased his sense of fitness. The value of the M’ksakkan’s death was to him obscure. I saw the moment: the adjuster’s surprised eyes, wide and staring as Sereth’s fingers closed on his throat, around his windpipe,·the M’ksakkan’s clawing hand upon his wrist as he ripped out the man’s larynx, vocal folds dangling; then the blood, spurting, and the sound of the adjuster’s choking death. And I saw others he had killed, those who were anxious to try their skills against a real live Silistran. He had been hesitant to do so, but more hesitant to face an endless line of their ilk, so he had killed the first three. Again, his thoughts sank below readable level. The hulions lay quiet, lashing their tails. The clouds scudded heavy over the sun. A soft, drizzling rain commenced.
“The dharen is pleased with you,” I said.
He sat up, his mind absolutely inviolate. “What do you want, Carth?” He stared down at me. I lay perfectly still. He made no attempt to read me for his answer. He merely waited.
“A first impression. You are coming up for assessment.” I rose up. “We want to get some sense of you. Your mental health is now our concern.” He ducked his head, ripping grass from the sward. “You brought child upon that well woman in Dritira,” I prodded.
He saw her. In many ways she had reminded him of the Keepress. It had been passes since he had taken a woman. On M’ksakka there were females, but nothing he understood to be a woman. He had not couched many of them. And in hide diet, there were only forereaders. In Dritira, with that woman who reminded him of the Keepress, he had spent his long-pent seed. Four times he had used her, before she was more than a receptacle in his sight. And he had abused her, more than was his custom.
“Get me the forms. I will collect my birth-price,” he answered. He did not want the woman.
“You should take her. We have been considering her. She might yet make a forereader.”
“Then it is a pity she caught. From inferior blood can come only inferior stock.”
“Khys has asked me,” I told him, “to bid you welcome to any of the forereaders we hold in common at the Lake. Spawn from such a union surely would be possessed of talent. The bitterness you hold is out of proportion to the reality. We all, at one time or another, find there is something we want that we may not have.”
He did not answer me, but rose and went to his hulion. He thought of the Keepress Estri as one thinks of the dead, with acceptance; and then thought of his own life, and what compromises he has made to keep it. What he let me know, I have no doubt, will please you. What he did not — that is what concerns me. He allowed me nothing else for the duration of our return.
His shield, as you will find, is set lower and much farther into his deeper conscious than any I have encountered. Most of his processing must take place behind it. Deep-reading him is out of the question. He visualizes barely enough to verbalize his will. That he is functioning superbly is attested by his works. That he feels it to his advantage to serve us at present is a certainty. I worry over what might occur should he choose, eventually, not to serve us.
My formal recommendation is for a complete and detailed assessment. Also, I feel some attempt might be made to pacify him, in light of what he is fast becoming. Or perhaps even to eliminate him, lest he become, like Se’keroth, the weapon turned upon the wielder.
And it was signed Carth.
“Carth!” I gasped, as a dark hand snatched the sheet from my grasp. Still upon my knees, I twisted to see him. His dark eyes gleamed. He ran his hand through his black curls.
“Did you find this informative, Estri?” he asked, towering over me, the paper crumpled in his fist. Carth was furious.
I dared not answer. I started to my feet.
“Pick these up!” he commanded, pointing.
I scurried to obey him, scrambling for the leaves strewn upon the web-work carpet, my stomach a knot. Once before, I had seen Carth this agitated, when I had written for him a certain paper. And he had called it audacious, and destroyed it. I finished, and rose to my full height, handing the tas envelope to him. My head came to his shoulder. He looked down at me, stern-faced.
“You were ill-advised to do this,” he said. “The dharen is not pleased with you. This” — he threw the crumpled sheet across the room — “will only aggravate matters. You had best make some effort to placate him.”
“What do you mean?” I demanded. “Has he taken some sudden interest in me?” I had seen the dharen precisely three times since I had come to reside at the Lake of Horns: the night he had gotten me with child, the day following, and once while I lay near death when the unborn had driven me to seek it. He had not been at the Lake of Horns when I bore his he-beast into the world. I had cried out for him during that premature and extended labor. He had been unavailable. Now, nearly eight passes later, he had returned.
“Do not be insolent!” Carth’s voice rasped as his palm cuffed my face to one side. Tears in my eyes, I put my hand to my cheek. It was what I had thought, not what I had said, that had brought me chastisement. Shaking my head, I backed away from him. Though I had known Carth a telepath, a surface-reader, rarest of Silistran talents, never had he shown his skills before me, one who neither spoke nor heard the tongues of mind.
“Estri, come here.”
I went to him, my hand trailing from my cheek to the warm, pulsing band locked about my throat.
When I stood before him, he lifted my face, his hand under my chin, so I must look into his eyes.
“He is very angry, child. You must realize that what you think is as audible to him as what you say. I know it was not malicious, that you read what you found. Forget it, if you can. Concentrate on what lies before you.” He patted my back, all the anger gone out of him.
“I do not want to see him,” I said, toying with the ends of my copper hair, grown now well below mid thigh.
Carth pursed his lips. “You have no choice. He will see you in a third-enth. Make ready.” And he turned and strode through the double doors that adjoined my prison to Khys’ quarters. Khys, my couch-mate, was again in residence. The dharen of all Silistra, back from none knew where, would again rule from the Lake of Horns.
Make ready, indeed, I thought, combing my hair. I had only the white, sleeveless s’kim I wore; thigh-length, of simple web-cloth. My jewelry was the band of restraint at my throat. I retied the garment upon my hips. Throwing my hair back, I regarded myself in my prison’s mirrored wall. My body, copper-skinned, lithe, only shades lighter than my thick mane, postured at me, arrogant. I had thought, for a time, that the he-beast had destroyed it, but such had not been the case. Exercise had given its grace and firmness back to me. My legs are very long, my waist tiny, hips slim. Pregnancy had altered me little. My breasts were still high and firm, my belly flat and tight. Good enough for him, surely. I widened my eyes suggestively, then stuck my tongue out at her. She made a face back. I grinned and wondered why I had done so, turning from the wall that ever showed me the boundaries of my world.





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Best selling author Janet Morris began writing in 1976 and published more than 30 novels, many co-authored with her husband Chris Morris or others. She contributed short fiction to the shared universe fantasy series Thieves World, in which she created the Sacred Band of Stepsons, a mythical unit of ancient fighters modeled on the Sacred Band of Thebes. She created, orchestrated, and edited the Bangsian fantasy series Heroes in Hell, writing stories for the series as well as co-writing the related novel, The Little Helliad, with Chris Morris. She wrote the bestselling Silistra Quartet in the 1970s, including High Couch of Silistra, The Golden Sword, Wind from the Abyss, and The Carnelian Throne. This quartet had more than four million copies in Bantam print alone, and was translated into German, French, Italian, Russian and other languages. In the 1980s, Baen Books released a second edition of this landmark series. The third edition is the Author’s Cut edition, newly revised by the author for Perseid Press. Most of her fiction work has been in the fantasy and science fiction genres, although she has also written historical and other novels. Morris has written, contributed to, or edited several book-length works of non-fiction, as well as papers and articles on nonlethal weapons, developmental military technology and other defense and national security topics.

Janet said: ‘People often ask what book to read first. I recommend “I, the Sun” if you like ancient history; “The Sacred Band,” a novel, if you like heroic fantasy; “Lawyers in Hell” if you like historical fantasy set in hell; “Outpassage” if you like hard science fiction; “High Couch of Silistra” if you like far-future dystopian or philosophical novels. I am most enthusiastic about the definitive Perseid Press Author’s Cut editions, which I revised and expanded.’

 

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I’m a Mom, a Grandmom, and a Veteran. Nothing scares me! That’s the saying on my favorite T Shirt. I’m enjoying life too much to let the little things slow me down. If you can’t tell from my Avatar, I live in Florida where I enjoy the sunshine and endure the hurricanes with good grace. Sometimes you have to take the bad with the good!

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