Pity Parade
Whitney Dineen
(Pity Series, #4)
Publication date: May 23rd 2024
Genres: Adult, Comedy, Contemporary, Romance
Trina Rockwell here. You know, your favorite TV host from Midwestern Matchmaker?I have a I am without a doubt, the unluckiest dater in the history of the entire world. I’m not even embellishing. I’ve inadvertently dated a mobster, a dead-beat dad, and a guy who puts salt on watermelon. What’s next, pineapple on pizza?As my past relationships reads like the who’s who of court jesters, it’s no wonder I’ve refused my producers desire to spotlight me as one of the singles on a new show they’re putting together.
The problem is that Midwestern Matchmaker just got canceled and unless I agree to their terms, I’m out of a job.
In order to keep doing what I love doing—matching midwestern singles, I either need to suck it up and parade my dating life on national television or I need to get married—STAT.
Guess which one I’m putting my money on?
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EXCERPT:
I sit down on the deck and take my shoes off. The warm boards feel wonderful on my bare feet. I can visualize myself drinking my morning coffee here every day at sunrise and sitting out and enjoying a glass of wine at the end of the day. If I weren’t so desperate to get out of doing another show with Tom, I’d forget everything to do with men and simply enjoy the summer for myself.
I’m suddenly eager to put my feet into the water, so I stand up and walk down to the end of the pier. Within moments, I’m lost in my reverie and I don’t hear anyone approach before a deeply masculine voice announces, “Hi there, you must be my neighbor.”
I spin around so quickly I almost tip over. Oh. My. Heavens. I’m staring at the glorious-looking Heath Fox. My mouth suddenly goes so dry I can barely ask, “You’re my neighbor?”
His green eyes pop open in recognition as he answers, “Trina Rockwell. Imagine meeting you here.”
Heath and I met at a charity event last year. He was one of the bachelors being auctioned off for the cause—childhood diabetes. One look at him kicked my libido into overdrive and I bid more on him than the next three men received combined—for charity, of course.
“What are you doing here?” I ask this as though inquiring why he’s sunbathing on the moon or why he has fourteen toes on each foot.
“I’m taking the summer off to enjoy myself. How about you?”
“Me? Oh … um … same.” Heath’s and my charity date went spectacularly well, or so I thought, until he kissed me goodnight. After that, he assured me in no uncertain terms that he wasn’t looking to get involved with anyone.
I was offended to the extreme. It’s not like I thought I was buying a relationship with the man, but to end the night by giving me the kiss off—literally—was a bit much.
“Dating anyone?” he wants to know.
“I’m not exactly sure why would you care?” Yeah, I’m still mad, but better keep it passive-aggressive. I’m not a shrew or anything.
He shrugs nonchalantly. “I don’t know. I thought I might have heard from you again after our evening out, but I didn’t.”
“You thought you’d hear from me?”
“I thought we had a nice time,” he says.
“Then maybe you should have called.” So I could tell him to take a long walk off a short pier.
“According to the paperwork we signed for the auction, I wasn’t allowed to make first contact after our date. They didn’t want any of the ladies to feel unsafe.” I don’t remember reading that, but it sounds plausible.
“Huh.” I mean, what else can I say? Oh wait, I know. “You made it perfectly clear you weren’t looking for a relationship. I can’t imagine you thought I was clueless enough not to take the hint.”
“I wasn’t looking for a relationship,” he confirms. Then with a smirk that nearly melts my butter, he adds, “Nothing long lasting, anyway.”
Author Bio:
Whitney loves to laugh, play with her kids, bake, and eat french fries — not always in that order.
Whitney is a multi-award-winning author of romcoms, non-fiction humor, and middle reader fiction. Basically, she writes whatever the voices in her head tell her to.
She lives in the beautiful Pacific Northwest with her husband, Jimmy, where they raise children, chickens, and organic vegetables.
Gold Medal winner at the International Readers’ Favorite Awards, 2017.
Silver medal winner at the International Readers’ Favorite Awards, 2015, 2016.
Finalist RONE Awards, 2016.
Finalist at the IRFA 2016, 2017.
Finalist at the Book Excellence Awards, 2017
Finalist Top Shelf Indie Book Awards, 2017
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Book Reviews by the Reluctant Retiree 