Sobering Affirmations for Your Rapidly Disappearing Life
Did you suddenly wake up and realize you are old? How did this happen? Where did all your youthful health, energy, and beauty go? And what can you do to recapture it and revitalize your life? Nothing. You’re old.
From the New York Times best-selling authors of You Are Worthless and Just Give Up comes a new book. This book is even less inspiring for those past their prime. One of Scott Dikker’s most hilarious creations, Dr. Oswalt T. Pratt is a sad and seriously inept marriage and family counselor barely holding on to his rapidly retreating 40s. And he’s out of shape, too. So he knows the pain of growing old. In You Are Old, he offers steaming buckets of wisdom. These are crafted especially for those wracked with memory loss. They also help with other aged infirmities.
* Dating after 40: good luck with that.
* Ear hair: how did you get so much of it?
* You’re past your prime. Your best days are behind you. You’re over the hill. Your body doesn’t bounce back like it used to. It’s starting to hurt a lot. Your back hurts, your neck hurts. Your knees hurt. You’re arthritic. You have rheumatoid arthritis, chronic pain syndrome, Bursitis, shingles, hives, cataracts and ringworm. You’re starting to sag, wrinkle, dry out and develop spots.
* It’s your choice: learn to navigate our serpentine, Rube Goldbergian healthcare system, or just give up and die.
* Today is the first day of the end of your life.
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I’m a Mom, a Grandmom, and a Veteran. Nothing scares me! That’s the saying on my favorite T Shirt. I’m enjoying life too much to let the little things slow me down. If you can’t tell from my Avatar, I live in Florida where I enjoy the sunshine and endure the hurricanes with good grace. Sometimes you have to take the bad with the good!
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